Foodcation #9: I'm back with a (semi) rant about pumpkin spice

and a pumpkin spice recipe because I'm a bundle of contradictions

One crisp afternoon in the fall of my senior year of high school, I put on my typical uniform of an oversized flannel shirt and leggings, got in my Honda Civic I called Louis, and drove across foliage-riddled streets of my quaint New England hometown to the nearby Starbucks. 2013 was probably peak pumpkin spice-basic time in America and in the suburbs for sure. I am and have usually never been an early-adapter to much so for a time, this food trend didn’t phase me but I suppose my curiosity could only be suppressed for so long. Which led me to the schlep to Starbucks on Main Street where I awkwardly ordered a grande Pumpkin Spiced Latte with WHOLE MILK (remember when nondairy milk alts weren’t an option??). As if I was seeping with popularity in high school, I quickly ran out into my car so that no one could catch me in the #BASIC act. I sat down, caught my breath, and finally took a sip. Even without careful evaluation I realized one thing: I hate this so much. Then my adolescent mind went abuzz. This tastes like weird sweet pumpkin soup. What is this, thick pumpkin pie filling (For the record: I hate pumpkin pie)? This shit should have been taxed by the British during the revolution because it deserves to be dumped in the Boston Harbor. In short, I drove home caffeinated and angry, went inside and handed the cup to my 11 year old brother. Sorry Mom.

How did we get here as a society??

When it comes to coffee, I am still a stickler for a classic cold brew with almond milk - maybe oat if I’m feeling saucy. No frills no foam no fancy spices. Pumpkin to me belongs in the following places: on the patch, with Charlie Brown, and in recipes where its earthiness is rounded out with other flavors and not overtly emphasized. I never want to come out of consuming something saying: wow I just inhaled an entire pumpkin. Not again.

So here are some tolerable recipes for you all now that it’s spooky season and your grocery store will probably look a little like this:

The Smashing (not-so-pumpkin-y) Pumpkins Menu:

• Pumpkin, roasty toasty nuts, warming spice, and persimmons(!!!) come to play in this next-level oatmeal which I think will be good hot and if you overnight it

• A damn good and easy-as-ever to make plant-based protein smoothie drink that’s tastier and probably much better for you than that PSL crap

• A very interchangeable pumpkin/squash Korean porridge (juk) recipe from the Korean-American Ina Garten Maangchi. She added sliced glutinous rice cake in hers but personally I’ve never had juk like that. Again, interchangeable!

• Christina Tosi’s fall remix on her Greta bars with pumpkin and Dulce De Leche

• A pumpkin pie (never ever by itself - not in a million Thanksgivings), a muffin, and a blondie walk into the genius mind of Stella Parks and become fused into this skillet cake with a crunchy streusel topping.

• And a healthy-ish pumpkin loaf cake recipe I developed that’s appropriate for slicing off for breakfast and snacking throughout the day. Check it below!

FEEL GOOD PUMPKIN SPICE LOAF

Makes one 9x5 loaf cake

Non-stick cooking spray

1 3/4 cup gluten-free all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1/4 teaspoon ground cloves

1 teaspoon Diamond Crystal Kosher salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 tablespoon freshly grated ginger

1 cup 100% pumpkin puree (Libby’s does no wrong)

1/3 cup olive oil or unsweetened applesauce

1/2 cup honey

2 large eggs

1/4 cup water

1/2 cup raw pumpkin seeds

1) Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

2) Lightly coat a 9x5 loaf pan with spray. Line with parchment paper leaving about a 3-inch overhang on both sides.

3) Combine flour, spices, salt, and baking soda in a large bowl. Set aside.

4) In a separate large bowl, add pumpkin puree and stream in olive oil. Add in honey.

5) Mix until well combined. Whisk in eggs and add water. Mix until well combined.

6) Gently fold in half of the dry ingredient mix into the pumpkin mixture until no dry spots remain. Repeat with remaining dry ingredient mixture stirring to combine but being careful not to over-mix.

7) Transfer batter into the prepared pan. Even out the top with an offset spatula. Scatter pumpkin seeds on top and gently press for adhesion.

8) Bake until a skewer or toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, about 80-90 minutes making sure to rotate the pan halfway through.

9) Let cool slightly, and then run a knife or spatula around pan to help loosen loaf.

10) Using the parchment paper overhang, transfer bread to a wire rack and let cool for 20-30 minutes before serving.